World Cup 2010...Korean Style

I have never seen a nation of people so proud to be who they are. They are also by far the most racist...but that is neither here nor there. Korean people do everything better than all other nations. They are smarter and faster and the build things better. They hate the Japanese, Chinese, Americans, North Koreans and really any country that they might be compared to or have to compete with. The Argentinians are greasy, Japanese are stupid, Americans slow, Nigerians have dirty skin, and the Greeks...I don't think they knew that Greece existed until they were bracketed with them for the World Cup 2010. Once the Greeks were acknowledged as a nation, they too of course were deemed an inferior race when compared to the mighty Koreans.

Still, the amount of pride of these people have is breathtaking! Everyone just had to cheer on the mighty Red Devils soccer team (who wore blue for most matches and had a tiger on their jersey...don't know where the devil thing came from). Koreans gathered from near and far to watch their team work towards the ultimate soccer glory, the World Cup trophy.

Now, as an American I do take some amount of pride in my country. I think they did an outstanding job during the qualifying matches. I also know that in the world of men's soccer, they BLOW. I have some sense of reality when it comes to these things. Doesn't mean I wouldn't be stoked if they went all the way, but I'm not gonna put my money on them! Not these Koreans. The Red Devils will conquer any team that comes in their path because they are Korean, the superior race. Not even the likes of smelly Argentina could stop them (final score, 4-1 Argentina).

For every game, whether it was 8:30pm, 11pm or 3:30am Korean time, there was a massive mob of Koreans flooding the streets, beaches, bars, restaurants...you name it. If there was a game and a TV they were there to cheer on the Devils. Red clothes were absolutely necessary...preferably saying something that had to do with Korea, Corea, or fighting.

The Friday before their first World Cup game, I came to school unprepared. I was immediately dressed in a red Korean soccer shirt and handed face paint to paint all of the children in appropriate soccer crazy garb before they began their day of making noise makers and beating drums...no one told me this would take place...I actually had a lesson plan.



The first game was incredible and nothing that I could ever have expected. Thousands of Koreans and foreigners gathered in front of a giant screen on the beach...in the middle of a lightning storm, drunk on beer and soju.


There are so many ways to categorize the fans in that crowd...
1. The drunk business man:
This particular specimen will be wearing his shiniest business suit, and usually have a brief case (even though it is Saturday). He will be watching the game from his cell phone, even though he has made sure to take up as much room in front of you so that no one is able to view the giant screen but him. He reeks of soju, beer, and kimchi and usually comes alone, sneaking in by himself and planting is fat ass in front of you like the small plot of sand had his name on it the entire time.

2. The exhausted children:
"Who cares if it's 3am...this is your team! This is your country! You're 7 years old (Korean age...AKA 5), and you should have enough pride to stay up into the wee hours of the night to watch this game!"

3. The crying women:
If you have a vagina you have ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING CLUE about soccer. You cry at a yellow card. You scream for corner kicks. You are a basket case of emotions...and for no reason at all. You are sporting your red devil horns and have made the Korean flag look slutty. You also are wearing 4 inch heals...in the sand. The man that forced you to come on a date to watch the game you must feign interest in hasn't acknowledged your presence since he threw down the cardboard box for you to sit on and gave you the bag of dried squid. Life is good.

4. The premature celebrator:
I am convinced that this person is the reason that Korea did poorly...they celebrate far too soon and over absolutely nothing. A GOAL KICK! LET'S JUMP UP AND DOWN AND OBSTRUCT EVERYONE'S VIEW BECAUSE WE HAVE NO CLUE WHAT IS GOING ON ANYWAYS!

5. The foreigner:
Your team isn't playing tonight and there is a Korea game on. Let's wear red and get wasted for the hell of it...you're only in Korea for the World Cup once. We can often times spot these supporters completely decked in the Korean gear, sporting wigs, drums, glow sticks, noise makers...you name it, these fans are no joke...because the game itself is a joke to them.



The second game was at 8pm against Argentina. I was sure to show up in my new "Super Korea" shirt to watch them get stomped by Argentina in front of a full, Olympic sized stadium of fans. Each goal made the Koreans more and more sad, angry, jealous, embarrassed...the list went on and on. Every single Korean I know put money on Korea...I won about 15 bucks knowing damn well that there was no way the Devils could beat Argentina. Alas, the mighty Reds were stomped out 4-1. The next day was a somber one. No one asked if I watched the game. No one really uttered a word about soccer until the next game a week later. All of the sudden, Argentina was just so good at soccer, no one could beat them..."Argentina has many professional player. Korea have 2 players in Europe. That is all!" EXCUSES, EXCUSES, KOREA!


Onto the next game, which like a loyal fan I attended at Haeundae Beach at 3:30am. Again, thousands of people in the sand making far too much noise and drinking massive quantities. A report in the Korea Times said that condoms and liquor sales went up by 55% on match days. Considering Koreans believe that kimchi will prevent AIDS, I'm going to say the condoms were a drunken impulse buy.



The sweet 16 was a big accomplishment for the Koreans. They put up a nice fight but alas, they failed to overtake Uraguay. Excuses were made of course on the Korean's behalf...poor refereeing, unfair advantages, timing. Everyone fails to mention the own goal that wasn't counted when the Korean keeper caught an easy shot INSIDE THE GOAL and then stepped out.

But, all in all it was amazing to have a World Cup experience outside of the States, where the beautiful game of soccer is actually appreciated. Red Devils for life! 대한민국!!!